Autism

Autism has been on my mind quite a bit lately. Did you know that the current statistics are 1 in 88 kids are on the autism spectrum? Boys are the hardest hit with it being 1 in 54 compared to 1 in 252 girls. This represents a 78% increase in autism over the previous 5 years and a 1000% increase over the last 40 years. And those are just the ones getting autism-related services.

 A study in South Korea by Autism Speaks found as many as 2/3 of the kids who had autism were not diagnosed or receiving autism-related services which leads to the statistic of 1 in 38.

So with all that, you have a good chance of knowing someone on the autism spectrum if you know very many children at all.

And Rainman is not typical of most people with autism. In fact, of the 4 people with autism that I know have autism, none are very much like Rainman. As far as that goes, those 4 all have very different stories and symptoms. You would not group them together; one is female the other 3 are male; one is 30+, another is 15, and the other 2 are in elementary school or preschool; one was normal and then regressed, 2 others either had it at birth or before they were old enough to regress (I am not sure about the 4th).

By the way, none of them are "dumb" or "slow" or whatever derogatory term you think of. Their brains are wired differently and so they don't receive signals the way that we (neuro-typicals) do. We have satellite TV, and with a storm it can be very difficult to get a good enough signal to watch a show. The dialogue may not come through, the picture can be very pixelated and it can be impossible to understand what is going on in the show. I suspect that living with autism could be somewhat comparable, except not only is the input messed up but also being able to express thoughts or what ever is as difficult (or more difficult) than understanding the input.

Anyway,

The earlier the parent (or someone else) notices the signs the better because early treatment is a huge deal. The earlier the treatment, the better the outcome will be.

According to autismspeaks.org the red flags for a child needing evaluation are:

• No big smiles or other warm, joyful expressions by six months or thereafter
• No back-and-forth sharing of sounds, smiles or other facial expressions by nine months
• No babbling by 12 months
• No back-and-forth gestures such as pointing, showing, reaching or waving by 12 months
• No words by 16 months
• No meaningful, two-word phrases (not including imitating or repeating) by 24 months
• Any loss of speech, babbling or social skills at any age

Please, if you know a child who has these red flags go to http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/learn-signs to learn more.

Statistics come from http://www.autismspeaks.org/science/science-news/autism-prevalence-rises-1-88

Friends

My mom always said that if you want to find out who your real friends are, either move or have twins. There aren't too many who will help you out through. I would add one to that, go gluten free.

Potlucks or even events where everyone signs up to bring something are hard on my kids. I usually try to sign up for a salad and a dessert so that my kids get a complete meal. They still only get to eat what mom brought while everyone else has their plate piled high with a variety of foods. It's hard. 

It is much easier on me because if I see something I really want, I just plan on making it later that week or the next. I do feel a little awkward just because it looks like I am a food snob since I only eat what I brought. It probably builds character or something like that. Luckily I am not as self-conscious as I was in high school or junior high.

 But back to my point.

We have some amazing friends who have gone out of their way to be sure that my kids (and I) have had something safe to eat at several events lately. I know that this hasn't been easy for them because they aren't gluten-free and it can be so difficult to know what is safe and what isn't.  Especially since gluten hides in unexpected places. Like in Chili Cheese Fritos or all Blue Bell chocolate ice creams.

We are members of a homeschool co-op, a group of homeschool moms and kids where the moms all teach 1 or 2 subjects giving the kids a chance to learn something that we (individually) wouldn't be willing or able to teach. For instance one of my son's classes is music but not music appreciation like I thought. No, they are learning to play the recorder. There is absolutely no way I would teach that class, whether it was just my child or a group of kids.

But I digress.

We always start off the year with a party, this year with the theme of the Olympics. There was pizza, cake, nachos, fruit, hot dogs and other treats - the only naturally gluten-free thing on the menu was fruit. The nachos could have been made gluten-free but I kept forgetting to call the mom in charge of nachos. Plus, I hate putting others out and Junior is the only one who likes nachos and I can easily do those at home. With the menu in mind, I brought my kids their own gluten-free pizza and made cupcakes. The mom planning the event was going to make candy sushi (with rice krispies) and while I offered to make it for my kids, she also made some gluten-free candy sushi for my kids. They also had goody bags with candy and she double checked which ones were gluten-free and made sure my kids got goody bags with candy they could eat. I don't know if Betty realizes how much that meant to my kids and I.

 Then at our September 4-H club meeting, two friends made sure that all the snacks were gluten-free. Heather brought these mini cheesecakes (and that is her blog) and Robin brought an amazing bean dip (and she doesn't have a blog so I can't link to it). That was the first meeting in 2 years that they could eat the snacks like the other kids. Heather and Robin have since made snacks for other potluck like things that were gluten-free so my kids would be included.

Heather also teaches an election class at our co-op and to make it fun for the kids, they are doing candy elections (complete with slogans and all that).  They are getting to sample candy each class so they can be more informed of the options and Heather always makes sure that some of them are gluten-free for my daughter to sample.

Most recently, Robin's son had a birthday and she brought cupcakes for our wildlife group to celebrate her son's birthday. My heart sank because I didn't know in advance and so couldn't make some for my kids. I should have known better than that because she also baked some special for my kids that were gluten-free.

Friends like that bring tears to my eyes.

Oops

Since it has been almost a year since I last posted, I am pretty sure that it will surprise you when this pops up in your feed.

All I can really say is "oops." Honestly, I haven't felt like blogging because . . . I don't know exactly why. Part of it is that the stuff that was most on my mind wasn't mine to share. Partly that I still had stuff to work through. And then there is the guilt.

 I felt guilty for not blogging and then there was the question of what to blog about. When it has been months and months, there is almost a feeling of "what I write should be important, major, significant etc." Since I don't really do significant, major, important etc, it is a little hard to live up to.

Since it has been so long, you get a bullet list to kind-of catch you up. (Lucky you!!!)

• Daisy turned 13 in July which I didn't quite need therapy for, although I thought about it.  Luckily I am blessed with a wonderful 13 year old who does things like cook dinner when her mama has a headache.


• Daisy decided to do 4-H Wildlife again after 2 years off. In case you are wondering, that is long enough to forget almost every thing we learned. And some of what we do remember is no longer on the contest. So far we are doing pretty good, I can ID about 40 of the 60 plants, trees, and grasses that they have to learn. Why do I have to know it? I'm not really sure other than so I can pop quiz them. I suspect Daisy knows more than she thinks she does because she was able to tell me some of the identifying characteristics (bark color and texture and some other things that I don't remember anymore) of a black cherry. The only way I could identify a black cherry would be if I were told "this is either a black cherry or a grass." I might could figure it out then. Maybe. 


• In a related note I have had chiggers for the first time since I was 15, and that was over 20 years ago. I also found a tick which would have had me calling a therapist but they typically don't accept new patients at midnight. Like a good homeschool mom/4-H mom, I googled it and found out that it was the Lone Star Tick and that they do not carry lyme disease. We now spray down with bug spray.


• Junior got his black belt in Tae Quon Do which was a great reward for his perseverance. We were incredibly proud of him. I was also thrilled to have Tuesday, Thursday and Friday evenings free.


• I no longer have Tuesday and Thursday evenings free. 


• Tuesday is known by my family as "nightmare day." Daisy has piano at 3 and Junior has guitar at 3. About 1 mile away from each other. Both of their lessons end at 3:30. Also one mile apart. Then we swing through Sonic because it is Happy Hour and get to Wildlife at 4 which lasts until 6pm. At 6 we go to Robotics and are done with that at 8pm. If we are lucky, I managed to put something in the crockpot so that we can eat dinner when we get home.


• We are still gluten-free so if I don't put dinner in the crockpot, there is only 2 fast food places to get food, Five Guys or Chic-Fil-A. 


• I love both Five Guys and Chic-Fil-A but I can get really tired of them quickly.


• We learned what Junior's reaction to gluten ingestion can be. He gets irritable. For about a week. It is kind-of like PMS irritable where you don't realize that you are making everyone walk on egg shells because you think that you are being completely rational. It was a long week. I think he still doesn't realize how cranky he was.


• I have some others but they are long enough to be posts on their own so . . . 

The End

Hello again

Well I took an unintended hiatus for a bunch of little reasons, most really inconsequential but some of them worth a blogging break. I have written posts in my head that never quite made it past my fingers and I have been where I couldn't even think about doing any posts.

Part of it is that God and I have been dealing with some issues that I think are now mostly resolved. I think.

Then there was also gearing up for Food and Nutrition contest with both kids competing for real. (The posts on that are here and here).

I have been cooking more again and enjoying it. I did a wonderful roast chicken tonight that looked so good my husband asked where I got it. He was surprised that I roasted it so well the first time I tried it.

I am also trying to figure out what exactly to do with these blogs. Part of me says to combine them, since some things (like the contest posts) I would like to have here even though they seem to fit more with the cooking. The other part says to keep it separate because I don't know how many of you would be interested in gluten-free cooking or why I measure with a scale now or whatever. I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter.

I think I should be posting more now that I have worked through some things with God (I may share more on that latter, just not ready to right now).

The past couple of weeks

Well Daisy had a wonderful time at church camp and Junior and I survived her being gone.

Then the week after that was VBS. In a moment of insanity, I walked up to the director of childrens ministry and offered to help.

Um yep.

I ended up helping in the preschool arts and crafts.

Yep.

However it went really well, maybe because I know longer have preschoolers. The kids were so funny. One of the lessons was about the man lowered through the roof so Jesus could heal him. I asked the kids how they would feel if someone was lowered through their roof.

I am so glad those kids are not Jesus.

They described vividly the stomping, punching and kicking with shoes that would happen.

While talking with some other kids about Tacky Tuesday, a little boy said he "always wears tacky clothes to church." I don't know if that means that he doesn't like his church clothes or what.

Anyway, it was a fairly fun week.

But I am glad it is over.

my baby girl is gone far far away

My baby girl is somewhere between 533 - 800 miles away from me. In another state.

Somehow she managed to grow up enough to go with our church's youth group off to camp. So she is either on the road or at camp. 800 miles away. Which is roughly 1300 kilometers (because sometimes metric just sounds so much worse.)

Hubby pointed out that she is with people we trust and God is watching over her. I would still much rather it not be 800 miles away. Or 1287 kilometers.



The other side of it is that I have been to that camp, it was my first youth camp. It was only 400 miles from my home in west Texas and so as far as I know, that church still goes to the same camp every year.

Hubby has only been in New Mexico twice and that is the north east corner to drive through yet he is not being as big of a worrywart as I am. Or maybe he is hiding it better.



I am also wishing I was along. I lived in Midland (which is almost spitting distance into New Mexico )until I was a teen. My grandparents lived in New Mexico and I still cousins and an aunt out there.

So it is like she is getting to go to my old home without me.




I said it was my first youth camp, but it was also my first camp of any kind (other than day camps). I didn't want to go. My mother didn't really want me to go. My dad insisted. I was am painfully shy but I actually made friends with some of the people in my youth group. The second year I was eager to go.




It wasn't just friendships though, it was how the camp discipled me. I was a christian in that I had prayed the prayer, gotten baptised, etc but I hadn't really started developing that personal relationship with Christ until that point. I may have heard about it before but that is about all.

If she is as oblivious as I was, I hope she has an awakening. Either way, I know she will learn so much.




But still - my baby girl is 800 miles away (or on her way to being 800 miles away).

Happy Campers

When I was in elementary school, my dad and I were involved in a group called Indian Princesses through the YMCA. The main thing I remember about it is getting to go camping with my Dad.

Then sometime around 11 my family got a camper trailer and we did a lot of family camping in that. There were several trips to Big Bend and Fort Davis that we enjoyed and quite a few other places as well.

I loved camping.

Then there was a "camping" trip with my first husband that was horrible (it was cold and we slept in the car and we where with his friends. It was the end of our marriage.)

I hated camping.

Then my daughter got involved in girl scouts and we went camping. Since more that 10 years had gone by, I was willing to give camping another chance. One of the girls was so homesick that she cried until she threw-up AND it was so cold that the girls got their polar bear patch (I hate being cold).

I still hated camping.

After much pleading from my kids and husband, I agreed to try it again. This time in we would try in April when it wouldn't be cold. Except it was. A cold front had the lows dropping below 40 degrees.

BUT I had fun. We had tents and cooked over a fire and went fishing and had a wonderful time. It was a ton of work getting prepared to go, planning the menus with all the sides and extras, trying to get everything packed so that we could access it easily. I forgot to get blankets (hubby and I slept on inflatable mattresses with sheets) but luckily they were remembered before we got more then 6 miles from the house. Its been a ton of work getting stuff washed and put away since we got back - but it was worth it.

The kids only complaint was that we didn't spend enough time camping, they wanted to be there for longer. They left their electronics at home and were very irritated with me when they saw I had brought the laptop. Honestly though, the laptop was only so that we could look at the stars and know what we were looking at. I downloaded Stelarium or Stellarium which is an amazing program, even if they can't figure out how to spell it (their website spells it both ways). You can have it show you what constellations are over your head at that moment and since I can find at least 15 big dippers and little dippers, it is a huge help to me. Although, since the moon was so bright, we couldn't see the stars so the laptop stayed in the car.

All in all, we were happy campers.

I don't know what to say

I don't think I need to say that I miss you. I dreamt about you and you were alive and it was normal again. When I woke up I was so very angry that it was normal and I didn't take the time in my dream to get a few more hugs, even just dream hugs.

I think about all the things I want to tell you or ask you, but you're not there.

It has been a year, and I still miss you Daddy.

3 in 30 February Check-up

This month I am doing better than I did last month. For the most part.

But that isn't saying much.

My first goal is reading the Bible every day and I am doing pretty good on that one. I am not behind on the Bible in 90 Days (today is day 40!) but if I am honest, some days I don't read at all and then I have to catch up the next day.

The next goal is doing meal plans. You wouldn't think it would be this hard but it is. I spent 2 hours on it on Monday. Well, I got the meal plan written down, then cleaned out the freezer and found stuff that had been forgotten and so changed the plan. That is why it took 2 hours. But it has been great. I looked at the weather so I could plan cold day meals on the coldest days and it was wonderful. I want to do some bulk cooking but we are still trying to find new recipes (or variations that we can eat) but that will make the whole thing even better.

My other goal was to exercise for 15 minutes a day. Did you know that Texas has been experiencing a freakish couple of cold spells? Really, really cold spells. No, not as cold as it gets where you live (probably) but cold enough to make Southerners miserable. And I have been miserable. We do have a fully functioning heating system but I am a wimp and I was the only one freezing. I just look out the window and feel cold. The idea of jumping around and moving when I really just wanted to hibernate was more than I could bear handle. Next week will be one of those crazy/busy weeks so I am thinking not then either.

So to sum up: I am doing well on 2 out of 3. The other goal is being ignored.

How are your goals?

3 in 30 February

Tomorrow is the first day of February and time for a new set of goals. While I could just redo my goals from January, (especially those that didn't go so well) I decided not to do that.

Well, not completely.

Without further ado here are my goals for February:

• Reading the Bible every day: I did do fairly well with this one, I am not behind on Bible in 90 days. I did get behind a couple of times but was able to catch up, but its only day 28 so I still have more to go before I have read all the way through. I am almost 1/3 of the way through!



• Plan meals for each week: I don't mind planning out the meals but I have not successfully followed a plan for a week. If I plan some easy meals and more difficult meals but don't set the day of the week, I cook the easy ones first and then skip the harder ones. If I plan set days to do each meal, then I get aggravated because the warmest day of the week is the one I put down for chili - since this is Texas we could be having chili on the day it is 80F out and the next day have a low of 20F. So not only do I have to keep our schedule in mind, I also have to look at the weather. I am hoping that if I stick to the meal planning thing for a month, I will figure out how to do it so that it works for me.



• do some form of exercise for at least 15 minutes: yes, I know 15 minutes isn't very much. Some days though, that may be all I can manage. Plus my hope is that if I do it for 15 minutes, I will add on some extra and make it 20 or 30 minutes worth of exercise for that day. Also, if when the 15 minutes becomes habit, I can up that habit to 20 or 30 minutes. I think.

So now you know what my goals are for February. What are yours? If you haven't set any goals yet, you might want to join 3in30.

Oh, how did I do in January? I did well with reading the Bible but not so good on cooking real meals which is why I am trying to plan meals to cook. The food diary was done I think one day out of the month. Again, meal planning should help with that one. So all in all, January wasn't great with meeting my goals. February will be better though. Right? Hello?

A challenge, an attitude adjustment, a long day

After I complained and griped and stomped around about the 4-H Food Challenge, my husband finally said "either take her out of the contest or quit complaining. You are ruining all the fun for her."

Oh.

So I stopped. I made a conscious effort to only say cheerful things quit complaining out loud. I still think it is stupid less of a challenge to have all the teams making the same exact dish but the kids still did learn so very much. Even some of the parents learned something.

On Daisy's team each kid picked something to focus on, one learned to food pyramid and how to fit different things on the pyramid; Daisy learned about the vitamins, mineral, and other nutrition facts as well as substitutions that could be made; S focused on food safety and safety in the kitchen (cut away from yourself, wear closed toe shoes, etc); and B learned how to figure out cost per serving. Then they had to present the facts for the dish that they made to 3 judges - not knowing if they made the correct thing or not.

S had never competed before and was in tears before the challenge because she was positive she couldn't do it. The others had all competed in different contests before but not in this one so they were all nervous. Even Daisy, who looked as if she did this every day, admitted she was nervous.

We weren't allowed in the room where they were doing the competition. We weren't allowed near where the judging was happening. We sat in the hall. For 4 hours. The teams got a late start and then they have 40 minutes to fix the dish and figure out what to say. And then the judging starts. And the judging per team takes 8 minutes. So it took awhile.

When we went into the room where the awards were going to be given, Daisy kept saying she hoped they would win. I kept telling her that there were so many other teams competing that it wasn't likely, especially since this was their first time at this contest.

But I was hopeful, especially when I found out they were giving ribbons for 5th place. Then I found out their category had 11 other teams.

When they called 5th place and it was another county, I was a bit more discouraged but still hopeful. Then they called 4th and was less hopeful. Then they called 3rd and I gave up thought it really wasn't likely. Then they called 2nd place and it was Daisy's team.

They were so very excited!

And now we get to focus on Youth Fair where I have 2 kids that will be cooking and Daisy is also entering the in the Arts and Crafts division. Did I mention she made her Christmas gifts this year? She made a scarf for her great-grandmother, her grandmother, and me, she also put a blanket stitch on 4 blankets, plus made some hot cocoa mix. So she is going to enter a knitted scarf into the Youth Fair.

And now I am tired.

3 in 30 January check up

How am I doing?
Well . . .

• On reading the Bible every day, I am actually doing well. I have read some every day and I am a bit ahead on the Bible in 90 days challenge. I like to stay one day ahead so that I am not behind if I am not able to do a full days worth one day. Honestly though, I am really enjoying it, and learning from it. Since it was only a few days before that I read where the Edomites came from (for example) I remember the connection when the Edomites don't let the Israelites pass through their land.
• Keeping a food journal: I stink at this. Seriously. I journaled one day. Really I need to figure out some app for the Blackberry that makes it easy because I always have my phone with me.
• On cooking more real meals: I did! I cooked a healthy, balanced, delicious meal for every day of the week. And then I woke up. So really not so much. I did do 3 meals with a TON of left-overs. We had homemade tomato soup (full of veggies) with grilled cheese sandwich (homemade bread), PW's Chicken Tortilla Soup (except it was more like a casserole because I didn't add the water. Because I doubled it. And my pot was too small. seriously), and homemade chili (which needs a bunch of work to taste right since there was no mix involved.)
  
  As a side note, I think it should be required by law to state if the serves 8 is 8-that-are-also-eating-Thanksgiving-dinner or 8-that-haven't-eaten-all-day-long-and-this-is-all-you-are-cooking. Because it really makes a difference.
  
  As another side note, we like chicken tortilla casserole.

So I guess I did halfway in all :-/

Next month I will challenge myself to breathe every day, eat every day, and brush my teeth every day.

The end.

Merry Christmas

This year with Hubby's work schedule, we didn't get the fake tree down from the attic, or the decorations. I could give you the long explanation but I am not going to do that.

Plus we were afraid the cats would wreck the ornaments.

So the other day we cut down this little pine tree - since we live in a forest it's not a big deal. This was not a tree farm tree. It is tall and spindle-y and looks like a gawky teenage version of Charlie Browns tree.

The ornaments were all handmade out of construction paper by my children the day we put up the tree - except for the small stuffed animals.

It is one of the ugliest Christmas trees in my life.

But it is also one of the most beautiful trees in my life.

My husband and I did not have any part in decorating the tree other than putting it in a stand and putting a string of lights up it.

Our children made the decorations and put them on the tree.

One of the "ornaments" is a paper mache bowl made by Junior and is turned upside-down representing the stone in front of the tomb.

There is a cross made of construction paper that represents the cross and another that represents the star.

There is a paper chain that represents nothing but there are paper rings that represent Jesus and Mary and Joseph and the girl raised from the dead and the blind man and the man with leprosy.

I heard my children discussing that a birthday is wonderful but Jesus would have been just another baby if it wasn't for what he did on the cross for us.

That is what makes this tree my favorite.


Wishing you and all of your family a wonderful and blessed Christmas.

Why cats do not make good road trip companions

In May my children asked if we could adopt 2 tiny, cute kittens. The answer that came out of my mouth sounded like "yes" although surely it wasn't. Surely I said no.

Junior chose a beautiful calico who he named Madam Moonshine. That is a result of the Hank the Cowdog books, Madam Moonshine is an owl in the series.

I know, I don't understand either why he named his cat after an owl other than he likes the name better than "Mary D Cat".

Madam Moonshine is the more adventurous and playful of the two. She rarely wants to be held and loves to look out the car window.

Daisy wanted this beautiful grey tiger that she named Socks and he turned out to be the sweetest and laziest cat ever. He is also the most laidback cat I have ever seen, we have held him upside down and he just looks around as if he were thinking "this is a different view."

But if you put him in the car, he hates it. HATES it. To go to my family it is about a 5 or 6 hour drive (that does include stops but it is at least 4 1/2 without stops). His first trip he cried the entire way there. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. and then he cried all the way back except for the last hour because he was so exhausted.

So for Thanksgiving, I thought I would make the trip easier on him (and us) and give him a benedryl. It worked beautifully until it started wearing off and he began to throw up.

Riding in the car with a vomiting cat is not my idea of fun.

While we were at my family's we took Madam Moonshine to get her fixed and mentioned the whining brother. So the vet was nice enough to give us a sedative to give him to make the trip easier.

He was to take 1/2 a pill 30 minutes before the trip. Since the last time he had gotten a pill, he had gotten sick, he was less than thrilled at the idea of another pill. In fact the lazy cat who normally doesn't fight anything because it is too much effort, fought me about that pill.

So we get in the car and he starts up. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.

Meow.

Meow.

Meow.

Thirty minutes later: Meow.

Meow.

Meow.

An hour later: Meow.

Meow.

Meow.

So we discuss whether or not he had actually gotten the medicine. Meow. And we discuss whether he needs more. Meow. And it is decided that another 1/4 wouldn't be a bad idea. Meow. Meow.

Except now he really doesn't want the drugs but he swallows it at we wait for quiet. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.

Meow.

Meow.

Again it is discussed whether or not he actually swallowed the stupid pill. Meow. And we don't feel comfortable giving him anything else. Meow. So we just listen to hours more whining. Meow.

We finally get home, unload the car and the cats and about a hour later sit down to relax. Socks jumps up onto the back of the chair glad to be at home and goes to sleep. And then he falls off. And doesn't get up. Daisy asked if he was breathing and was relieved to find out that yes he is breathing but he does seem to be . . . drugged.

He slept for an hour, then went to his water bowl for a drink and either fell in or laid in the water bowl. He was soaked. He went back to sleep, woke up again and again got soaked drinking some water. The next day, he still looked groggy.

We did find out that the drug only works before there is an adrenalin surge so if he had gotten the meds before he got worked up, it would have done it's job. Probably.

What they don't tell you

They don't tell you that it takes months to heal - to not cry at every mention of fathers or mothers.

They don't tell you that you feel emotionally raw.

They don't say that there will be constant reminders - others having similar diseases or surgeries and you don't want to say a word about it because the outcome wasn't good.

They don't say that you will finally begin to feel normal again and then a birthday brings it all back.

But then, do we really want to know?

Inspiration

Sometimes the things that some people do make you question their sanity (slip-n-slides are not good for the 25 and over crowd.)

Other times people inspire you to do things that you would rather not, things that are hard and can hurt.

My baby sister has got an iron will, when she sets her mind to something . . . well, it is best to just get out of her way. She decided a few months ago to take up walking and since she is one who doesn't do things halfway, she now walks 10 miles a day.

I wish I had a 1/4 of her willpower.

She doesn't know this, but she inspired me to start walking again. It is so hard starting exercising when you are overweight - ok, I am actually obese. Overweight would be easier. I think. There is a temptation to do too much in an effort to lose a bunch quickly. In the past, I would find some impractical workout program ("go from couch potato to running a 5 K in 4 weeks") and then give up after I injured myself. Following her lead, I started slow (we do have very different ideas on what "starting slow means" - and am working my way up but not to 10 miles a day. Maybe 5.

Right now I am up to 3 miles. Well, as of yesterday I did 3 miles and I don't know about today. It depends on how loud I hear my sister yelling at me to keep moving - she is like my own private Jillian. Except the real Jillian wouldn't actually kick my butt, my sister might.

When is forgiveness not forgivness

There is someone who has recently started going back to our church that I . . . I just really don't like her.

Or maybe I haven't forgiven her for how my daughter was treated. She led a small division of a kids group (I am trying to vague so I don't gossip - or at least limit the gossip). It was her duty to come up with learning activities for the kids - you know crafts and things like that. During the instruction she spent a fair amount of time discussing her ex-husband, her current boy-friend then ex-boyfriend, new boyfriend then suddenly new husband. She would cancel meetings and we wouldn't find out until no one showed up. But the final straw was the results of the fund-raiser. The kids would sell items for the fund-raiser and then with the proceeds do something fun like a trip to 6 Flags and The Aquarium during the summer. Well, Daisy worked hard and asked everyone she knew, she was also at the booths where the kids would sell to people going in the store. In addition, her dad took the sales sheet to work and sold a bunch. When the totals came in, Daisy had sold close to half of the groups total. Then there was a planning meeting to discuss when this trip would be made, we all said when we could not make it and a weekend was planned for. Then they had another unannounced meeting and planned the trip for one of the two weekends out of the summer that we were unable to attend.

Daisy was extremely upset but she really wanted to go on the major family vacation that was planned a year prior so she didn't fuss too much.

They gave a consolation prize from the group for not being able to go - a $25 gift card to build-a-bear that she would have also gotten if she had gone.

The next year we joined 4-H instead.

I thought I had forgiven in the passing years but I am not sure now that I am seeing her 2-3 times a week. I just have no use for her, she may have changed but I don't care to find out. Luckily our church is big enough that I probably won't have to talk to her.

It still leaves me wondering, can you forgive someone and then not like the person anymore or is that still unforgiveness?

It's Friday

As I listen to the patter of the lovely rain on this quiet morning I am so grateful for so many things. We are so blessed and I have been trying to treasure each day while it is happening rather than focusing on the next day, week, etc.

I guess that is why I am so confused by the attitude of an acquaintance of mine. She has a daughter who is the same age as my Daisy and she will tell you that she can't wait until her daughter grows up. That right now she is working so hard to save money for college and to pay for everything her kids need (she also has a 4 year old) that she just looks forward to being done.

I just don't get it. I don't know if it is a cultural thing (the kids are first generation Americans while the parents are from the orient). I don't think less of them. I wonder if when the kids are grown if she will regret this attitude. I just . . . .

I just . . .

think . . .

how sad.

For my dad

I hate cancer.

And the chemo is rough. I never had realized that the chemo can cause anemia which adds to the misery of treatment.

So that is why I am even more committed to giving blood, I remember seeing the difference it made for my dad to receive a transfusion. I remember seeing the color come back into his face, I remember how his voice would sound less tired.

Today, the day before Father's day, I gave blood while thinking of Daddy. He doesn't need it anymore but there are other dads and moms and children and grandparents that do need it.

I like to think that Daddy appreciates my Father's Day gift to him.

I miss you Daddy.

I thought technology was supposed to make things easier

I used to like Windows Live Writer.

Until I realized that not every post that I published through them actually published.

If you like Live Writer, please be aware that I get random problems no one else ever does.

It seems to be my super power.

The trouble is that as a blond people think I have a lower IQ than average. So they think its my fault.

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My wonderful husband decided that I needed a smart phone and I would actually use the bells and whistles on it. So after looking around I decided I wanted a Blackberry. At first I thought the Blackberry Curve but then decided with the spotty reception at my home I wanted a phone with a bit more oomph.

So then I thought the Blackberry Bold would be a great choice. Except it was out of stock so B*stB*y had to order it. So on Sunday they ordered it and said it should be there within 3 or 4 days.

Not a big deal and with the tracking stuff available now, I could obsess to my hearts content about when my phone would be in my hand.

Except it didn't seem to be shipping. It was supposed to ship within 24 hours and 2 days later, it still hadn't shipped.

And while I was waiting I was doing research and found out the Blackberry Bold 9700 seemed to be so much better than the Bold 9000. So Tuesday I thought that I could just go cancel the order - because it still hadn't shipped - and change to the 9700.

Wrong.

Because it was ordered in my husband's name, I couldn't cancel it. They were barely able to give me information on the order - and probably shouldn't have done that. Because in some things we are still stuck in the 1950s.

And hour later, I left with no new phone and the knowledge that my husband could call and cancel the order but it would be better to wait until the 9000 came in and return it to the store because they could do an upgrade reversal right then. If we called to cancel, we might have an extra few days before we could do the upgrade.

Except that that information was wrong.

The next day (Wednesday) the phone arrived at 5:00 and at 5:15 I was at B*stB*y wanting to swap out phones. At 9:15 I left with my old phone and with the knowledge that it takes an upgrade reversal 1-3 days and we would have been better off canceling the order and starting the upgrade reversal then. In that 4 hours, my husbands phone was shut off and then he had to have his sim card changed which meant all his contacts were messed up.

Friday I called our cell phone provider about something else - B*stB*y's maneuverings had put my husband's phone on the $30 data plan and his phone will barely text so I wanted to cancel it. I asked during the course of conversation how long the upgrade reversal would take and ended up telling the whole long convoluted story to the person I was talking to (believe it or not, I seriously simplified it here).

She asked for the number to the local B*stB*y to verify that I no longer had the phone and then her supervisor immediately put the reversal through so that I would FINALLY be able to go get a phone.

An hour later I had a new phone and two hours later we discovered that B*stB*y had somehow canceled my husbands voicemailbox - he wouldn't have known except I called to leave him a message and then told him I left a message.

Luckily our cell phone provider was able to easily fix it - but he might have missed some messages in those 2 days that he didn't have a mailbox.

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My new phone, I love it. I actually get reception inside the house and don't have to tilt my head at a certain angle. I have a calendar that will actually sync with the computer and store more than 100 events. And I love the QWERTY keyboard. And don't get me started on the apps I have found.

I thought about doing an iphone but it seems almost like the Guess? jeans from high school and really, I am too old for all that. There were things that I don't like about it (I dislike the idea of a touch screen) and the only benefits I can see of an iphone over my blackberry is "words with friends" and the whole "everyone else has one". Quite frankly though, I would also feel like a lemming if I had gone with an iphone without better reasons than that.

Maybe at some point I will do an iphone but right now I <3 my blackberry.