high-maintenance

I remember watching When Harry Met Sally and being horrified at one scene. Absolutely horrified.

No, not that scene. This one.



I decided that I was not going to be high-maintenance. Ever.

Or at least not on a regular basis.

But now I am! And I hate it.

This is the way I have to order at our favorite Mexican restaurant: "I would like the Juarez Combo but I want the chicken taco to be in a soft corn tortilla, I want the cheese enchilada to be a chicken enchilada with no sauce, I want the tostada to not have any meat sauce or cheese and the beans to have no cheese on them."

The only thing on my plate that is not changed is the rice.

Needless to say, we are pretty memorable to the waitstaff which is why we try to get our usual waiter (honestly, if our usual waiter isn't there, I get fajitas because the only thing to change then is the tortillas).

Lest you think I only inconvenience others, I have to confess that I also have had to go shampoo free.

No, I do wash my hair but it is with either castille soap or homemade shampoo (made with castille soap). I would much rather that my hair smell of vanilla or flowers but I get tea tree oil or peppermint. sigh.

For the past several years (10 or more) I have had to use dandruff shampoo in the winter because my scalp would get dry and itchy. In the summer I could use whichever one I liked without a problem, but each winter it was back to dandruff shampoos.

A little over a year ago, my scalp problems got much worse. Last winter I tried every medicated shampoo I could find and I still had raw spots on my scalp.

Raw spots from scratching.

I have colored my hair since I was 13 (only about 2 years total since that I have been my "natural" color). Coloring my hair was horribly painful but it did seem to help my scalp be less itchy.

Seriously, the horrible chemicals in hair color solution would improve my scalp.

Last January, I realized that part of it is gluten-related. I am not sure if going to Burger King and having a burger and onion rings would cause my scalp to break out - mostly because I don't want to deal with all the other side effects to just test it out. Each time I spend about a week eating out of kitchens that are not gluten-free, my scalp breaks out. It did seem to heal faster with the castille soap, so I kept using it.

Even though it stinks.

To add to the fun, I learned that with hard water, castille soap can cause a build up that makes the hair look oily.

The same day it is washed.

The treatment for that is simple, just a vinegar rinse.

So tea-tree oil castille soap (which stinks) followed by vinegar (which also stinks).

My wet hair does not smell lovely. Or floral. Or appealing.

While I do use apple cider vinegar, which does smell better than distilled white vinegar, it still stinks.

This week I decided to see if I could use normal shampoo (because I wanted to see if I might could do pretty smelling hair.

The first time went well, no problems. My hair felt wonderful.

So I tried it again. Everything seemed fine until about 3 hours after washing my hair when I realized my scalp felt somewhat painful. I couldn't figure out why but it just kept getting more and more painful as I thought about it. Then I remembered the shampoo. By the time I got to the shower, I couldn't wait for the water to get hot.

Luckily, washing off the remaining shampoo seemed to mostly do the job.

Mostly.

It is still a little tender.

So now I can make Sally Albright look low-maintenance.

Great.

You know you have been wearing your hair up too much

when two inches have been cut off and no one notices. Not even your husband. (Ok, to be completely fair, he thought maybe it was shorter. But he wasn't sure.)

Although I suppose it is equally possible that everyone hates it.

Or the color is off putting.

I am thinking of going back to the natural color for awhile but what I have right now is not it. It looks like I tried to copy Ree (Pioneer Woman) and that color just doesn't fit right on me.

What am I naturally? Probably a dirty blond or light brown.

Umm, yep, it hasn't been the natural color very many months since I turned 13.

Is it the top half or bottom half?

In my family there are a couple of half siblings but they aren't really referred to that way - they are just brother and sister.

It is something I never really thought about much until I heard a conversation between Junior and one of his cousins.

Junior: Do you have a sister?

Cousin L: No but I have a half brother.

Junior with a look of complete confusion on his face: How do you have half of a brother?

House Rules

One of the house rules that makes life simpler is the “No candy before lunch” rule. This typically cuts down on a lot of the begging and pleading. Of course the rule has been ammended to include the provision that lunch can’t be before noon – otherwise lunch would be eaten at 8 am.

 

So yesterday Junior, who is 6, stated that he was going to have marshmallows with his cereal – the giant strawberry marshmallows not those little mar-bits. And told him he was not, so he said he would “try” just one.

 

No, remember no candy before lunch.

 

“Mom” he pleaded “I just want to try one.”

 

So I asked if he planned on chewing it up and then spitting it into the trash can.

 

He looked at me and said “Would that work for you?”

 

Ummm, no but good try.

Boy oh boy!

Boys are just different.

I think I may have mentioned that before like here.

Anyway, I dearly love my little boy but sometimes some of the stuff he and his friends come up with make me giggle. or start to pull my hair out. or nearly fall out of my chair laughing.

Like last night, Junior came home from church with some interesting news. Junior's friend T told him that he had a robot nose!

Yes, you read that right, robot nose. Apparently he got it when the saber-tooth bit his first nose off! And if you stuck a finger in T's nose, it would fall off!

Junior was puzzled when we pointed out that saber-tooths had been extinct since . . . a long time ago . . . like when the dinosaurs died out.

Then I told him this morning that I had "talked" to his mom on facebook, and she had no idea what I was talking about. Poor thing was relieved.

"Oh he was just joking!"

Now with girls . . . well that conversation wouldn't happen on so many levels that it is pretty funny.

Sometimes I wish they weren't so honest

I got a new swimsuit yesterday that I had ordered off of Lands End website. I had seen on Fiddledeedee about the great prices on Lands End "overstocks."

Needing a swimsuit at the beach, I quickly looked around town to see if I could find anything that I liked.

Not so much. In fact, the best I could find was "this isn't horrible."

So, I took a chance on mail ordering a swimsuit and it arrived yesterday. It does flatter my top half (which is better than any of the local suits) but the bottom half . . . let's just say I will be in shorts.

Junior, ever the flatterer, told me "Mommy, I like your new swimming suit. It makes your tummy not look as fat as it really is."

thanks for that.

Things that make you go huh?

I went into the bathroom and the floor was pretty wet in front of the sink, the counter around the sink was wet.

That much water on the floor is usually caused by the smallest member of the family. So I called him in :

"Junior why is the floor wet?"

"Because I have a runny nose"

Huh?

"Why does your runny nose make the floor wet?"

Because I had to blow my nose."

"But that still doesn't explain why the floor is wet"

"Because it some dripped. I'm sorry."

"What dripped? Your hands when you washed them?"

"The toilet paper dripped."

"Can you please explain to me exactly how you blew your nose?"

It turns out he wet a handful of clean toilet paper in the sink so that he could blow his nose although why he thought he needed to wet it first, I don't know. By this time, I really didn't care and was more concerned with trying to control my laughter.

Ignoring it won't work

I have tried to ignore it but it keeps coming.

Junior is going to turn 6.

My baby will be six no matter how much I try to ignore it.

We have been counting the days starting at 10 which was "a very, very long time" according to him. Then around day 7, he started perking up, but it is still long.

When we moved to only one hand, he was pretty excited.

His birthday is on Wednesday.

I may just cry.

When we were talking about his birthday, I asked what kind of party he wanted.

"Indiana Jones!" Ummmm why? He has never seen Indiana Jones (it is way too graphic and scary).

So I said, "why not Star Wars?" since he is hugely into Star Wars.

Nope, Indiana Jones, so I asked why.

"because if I have a Star Wars party, I will get Star Wars stuff."

So what are you wanting that is IJ?

"Well, a cake but you probably can't do an IJ cake and . . . "

No, Junior, what toys are you wanting that is IJ?

"Lego Indiana Jones" - Basically he is wanting his whole party planned around one game that he is wanting for the Wii.

Why on earth would you want a Star Wars party when you already have the Wii game?

I love 7 Quick Takes

My favorite thing about this is that I get to post the various little things that aren't really big enough for their own post.

Although I could ramble on long enough for each one to make its own post.

1. I cooked the simplist chicken Thursday night for supper. Boneless chicken breast cooked in apple cider vinegar (although you can use a different vinegar, just not white distilled) and some water. Then when the meat was close to done, I added some honey to sweeten the sauce/glaze.

Junior thought it was the best, until he asked what was in it. Then he said he hates vinegar. Honestly if I avoided the stuff he hates, we would eat PB&J and cereal. The trick is not letting him know one of his forbidden foods it there.

I didn't measure but it was 4 chicken breasts, around 1/3 - 1/2 cup of vinegar, 1/4- 1/3 cup water and then 2-3 tablespoons of honey. Cook over medium until the meat is done and then the glaze/sauce reduces.

2. Our church had a ladies coffee Thursday night and it was alot of fun. We had special coffees (I had a hazlenut latte) and then got to chitchat. It was fun and relaxing girl time.

3. I am a thief. When I was 4 years old, I stole a pack of Charlie's Angels gum because I thought my mom would say no.

That night when she saw me chewing the gum, I had to fess up. The next day, I had to go back into the 7-11 and tell the man what I had done and pay for it.

I still remember that.

But I have never shoplifted again.

4. I almost hate to say this, for those of you that live where it is cold.

We went on a nature walk to look for signs of spring.

Before we missed it.

Summer may be here week after next.

But we found redbuds and Carolina Jasmine blooming. Trumpet honeysuckle has it's flowers budding out, but not blooming. And the ever-present mosquito larvae.

5. I got an order of tea today. A friend had asked for advise on what to try for hot tea. I told her to go to Adagio Tea. They have this starter set that comes with a great tea maker and 4 samples of tea. Then you can order samples of other teas that sound good (most of the samples are $2 a piece and make 10 cups, although some cost more and make less.)

It had been awhile since I ordered, and saw they have added alot of new teas. So I just had to order some samples of teas. Honestly though, I think Daisy was really wanting to try at least one of the teas. She has been nagging for 2 days to look at the list. She heard "chocolate tea" and was really wanting to try it.

Yep, I said chocolate tea. Oh my stars!!! This stuff is good. It isn't pre-sweetened, so it is like a sugar-free fat free chocolate bar.

I just drank some peach ginger tea and I love it. I may have to go make another cup.

Some of those bagged flavored teas, just have a hint of the flavor and mostly taste like black tea. They are just really underwhelming. But Adagio teas smell and taste wonderful.

Just so you know, I have no affiliation with Adagio, although I would love to. Hint, hint.

6. Last night, I read the poem that goes

What are little boys made of?
Oh, what are little boys made of?
Snips and snails and puppy dog tails,
that is what little boys are made of.

What are little girls made of?
Oh, what are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice and everything nice,
that is what little girls are made of.

Junior didn't like it. I thought he didn't like it because it has boys made of gross stuff (snails).

Nope, he didn't like it because it was wrong.

Little boys are made out of skin.

7. Junior is really enjoying tae kwon do now. He has a great teacher who keep them in line (no pun intended). Then there are about 3 who take turns helping out.

One is a mom who is great with the kids - kindof like a mom figure.

Another is a high school boy who is also great. He is fairly quiet, but has kind eyes. He reminds me of my brother.

The third, is another teen . . .sigh . . . I really want to bring him some ex-lax. I am pretty sure he is constipated. He just seems cranky.


Okie Dokie, thats all. Except, I tried Adagio's cinnamon tea (instead of another peach ginger). YUMMMM. It isn't like the spice cinnamon, it's like red hots. I think it's another winner.

Mistaken identity

I just found Missy blog "It's Almost Naptime." She has the funniest post RIGHT HERE.

It got me to thinking about a case of mistaken identity that happened several years ago here. Daisy was about 3 and she wanted some lotion on her feet. So she carried a tube in to her daddy. He assumed that she knew what it was, and so just applied it to her feet.

A few minutes later she came to me, horrified, because the skin was peeling off her feet.

It didn't hurt, but she was sure that it wasn't supposed to happen that way.

Daisy, being 3, couldn't read and thought it was lotion. Her daddy didn't bother to read it but probably wouldn't have known what a "peel off mask" was anyway.

I don't think they teach that in auto mechanics.

Because I need some funny

I need to giggle and I don't want my blog to have people running for their antidepressants.

So I thought I know, I will post one of my most embarrassing moments.

Sometimes God has a sense of humor and puts opposites together, for example I have never seen hubby embarrassed. I still blush easily.

Before we had kids, we had gone to the store to get some things. I had been on antibiotics for a sinus infections and had gotten one of those lovely followup infections.

I have to get a few things in the basket before I get that little box (which is way bigger than it needs to be) and put it, face down, under some of the other items.

So we then finish our shopping and go to check out.

Hubby is one of those math people that likes to keep a running total in their head and then giving what the total is before the checkout person. He used to be able to add the tax in his head too but now he just gives and estimate that is usually fairly accurate.

This time his estimate was off, by about $13. He puzzled over it and then he remembered the box.

"OH, it was your yeast infection medication! How much is yeast infection medication?"

Loudly.

Very loudly.

All I could do is hiss "Will you shut up!"

I lived.

He never did that again.

Because I am a mean horrible mommy

I took my kids today to get their immunizations.

And because I am not stupid, I didn't tell them why we were there. When we got out of the car, Junior said "I am not sick" and I said "nope, I am."

They were kind of puzzled that their names were called and not mine but it wasn't until right before the injection that they had the slightest idea. Although since I promised Marble Slab for after we were done, that should have been a hint that it wasn't going to be a fun stop.

Daisy did say that it was the better way to do it, otherwise they would have been upset for the hour we waited before the shot. I don't think I will be able to get away with it again though.

So tonight, Junior is looking at his 2 bandaids on the leg and asks which one is the "pawster."

I have no idea so I ask him to repeat it. "Which one is the pawster?"

"Uh, J-man what I am hearing is 'pawster' "

"That's right."

I look at Daisy and she looks as confused as I am. She says "What is a 'pawster'?"

Deep breath, "You know when there is a good guy and he is a good guy and there is a bad guy who looks like the good guy but he is a bad guy and he takes the good guy and petends to be the good guy but he is a bad guy."

"Oh! An imposter!"

"Uh huh. I'm looking for the impawster. This one has a hole but this one has blood."

"Um, Sweetie, they both were shots." He turns and looks at me, horrified.

"I got two shots on this leg?!?!?"

"Yes."

"It hurts so much worser!"

An actual conversation

Today I slept late because a headache kept me from sleeping well last night. At the best of times, I am not a morning person. When I still have the remains of a headache, I am even worse.

So I am sitting there, minding my own business when Hubby says: "They still sell your coffee pot so we can buy another one."

me "You mean the french press that broke?"

Hubs "No the Corningware that you use."

me "but I don't want another one."

Hubs "why?"

me "I don't need 2 coffee makers." (I do have 2 coffee makers,the percolator and one of those with the thermal carafes that takes up about 6 feet of counter space. Its in a closet.)

Hubs "but we can still buy one, so that means we can get parts"

me "huh?"

Hubs "I got curious if we could get parts. Its a good little coffee maker with only 2 parts to go out, the heating element and the cord, so I got curious if we could get parts. They did sell one that sits on the stove top but that one has a recall because it would overheat and shatter."

me "oh."

Yep, that's me. Witty conversationalist.

Little Boys and their brains

I will be famous, I will have statues in my honor. I have figured out the secret to why little boys do some of the things they do.

It may seem that they are not thinking, but really it is just how their brain works.

Let me back up.

Have you ever heard of the great scientist Mark Gungor?

This brilliant man discovered the difference in men and womens brains. You can click here to see a video of him.

Basically he said that women's brains are like large balls of wire, where everything has connections to everything else.

Men's brains he compared to a bunch of boxes; one box for work, one for family, etc. When a man is at work, he is in his work drawer. On the way home, he closes the work drawer and opens the family drawer. If you have ever seen a brief blank look of your husbands face when you ask him a question not related to what he is doing, you just watched him close one drawer and go to another.



Everyone knows what a junk drawer is, right?

That drawer that all the odd stuff goes into?

That is the largest drawer in little boy brains because they put everything in that drawer.

Just like they don't always put away their toys, they just dump every thing in there. It works fairly well, except when they get bored.

See, when they get bored, they reach in that drawer and pull out two or three things.

Any two things. They may not be related, in fact they probably aren't related.

It may be something like a seam ripper and walls which give the boy an idea of seeing what will happen when a seam ripper is used on a wall.

Or it may be makeup base and his sleeping sister, where he decided that she needs makeup (at 8) because she is a girl. Never mind that she is asleep, or that she isn't allowed makeup yet. She gets some of mommy's base on her face. The excess is just wiped off on some nearby furniture. Did I mention we weren't at home? We were visiting my grandmother.

Since you don't know what is in the drawer and what he is going to pull out, you can't possibly forbid everything he might get into.

Thankfully, Junior has been showing much better restraint since the seam ripper incident. There haven't been any more "experiements" lately. He may be done with his experiment phase, although I doubt we are completely through with it.

Frug

I was going to put some mentholated rub on Junior's chest when he had his cough. First I let him smell it.

"This smells like frug." *said like rug,the kind on the floor*

I don't say anything, just look confused. He then says

"I don't know what they look like 'cause I just made them up, but this is what they smell like."

11 ways hurricane season is like Christmas

Sometimes you just have to laugh.

Top Eleven reasons hurricane season is like Christmas:

Number Eleven:

When it is over, you are exhausted and have a big mess to clean up.

Number Ten:

Decorating the house (with plywood).

Number Nine:

Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season.

Number Eight:

Last minute shopping in crowded stores.

Number Seven:

Regular TV shows pre-empted for 'Specials'.

Number Six:

Family coming to stay with you.

Number Five:

Family and friends from out of state calling you.

Number Four:

Buying food you don't normally buy . . . and in large quantities.

Number Three:

Days off from work.

Number Two:

Candles.

And the number One reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas:

At some point you're probably going to have a tree in your house.

What Next ! ? !

My son will be the death of me.

I never know what is going to come next, he thinks of things I would never think of forbidding. Why would I need to say "don't try to see if the seam ripper will hurt the wall."

So I found the damaged wall and called him in to talk about it. Luckily for him and us, all he did was lightly scratch the paint.

Me: What happened here?

Junior : you know that thing that pokes holes and is red? I wanted to see what would happen.

Me: HUH?

Junior: I wanted to see what that red thing would do on the wall.

Me: You do know we will have to show Daddy.

Junior: No please!! He will kill me and I will be dead and I won't get to go to heaven and I will have to go into the pit!!!!

Me (struggling not to laugh at this extreme reaction): Your Daddy won't kill you. He will be dissapointed but he won't kill you.

Junior: No, he will !! He will kill me and I won't get to go to heaven and I will have to go into the pit!!!!

So then he cried for about an hour and nothing Daisy or I could say could convince him that he wouldn't die.

Sigh, I really don't know what is next with him.