Bad Mommy Award

Some days things just don't seem to be going well and the mom's response is . . . not what it should be. You know, those days you are sure you are about to get the Bad Mommy Award. Or maybe it's just me.

The other day I got very irritated . . . ok, angry at Junior. It was his Taekwondo testing/graduation and he had way too much energy. To make a long story short, I ended up having to fuss at him a good portion of the time, so my nerves were already frayed.

Since my in-laws were able to come, we were planning on going out to eat after we left. On the way out the door, after getting on my next-to-last nerve, Junior saw a snack machine. A snack machine. In my family, the vending machines send out a siren's call. The idea of putting coins in a machine and getting out anything - stale crackers, Dr. Pepper, stamps, any unknown item - has facinated various members for generations. Most of us have grown out of it, but there are some nameless family members who dare not walk by a slot machine.

Anyway, as I was saying, Junior was already on thin ice with me and saw the vending machine.

He asked to buy something.

I said no.

He stuck his lower lip out and whined and sulked and acted like a baby instead of a 5 year old boy.

It is a new behavior that just drives me nuts. No, I never give in to it, mostly because it just makes me want to say no to anything.

So I took him into the ladies room and spoke with him.

My kids say I yelled.

I wish.

That would be better than admitting I used the "mean voice."

You know, the voice that you can almost whisper.

The one that tells your child that they are going to be miserable if they don't listen to you.

The one were you speak low enough so that other people won't hear.

I really, really hate when I use that voice.

All the venom, but none of the volume of a yell.

I said something about how he was acting like a baby; he was old enough to know better; I was very unhappy with how he behaved during the taekwondo thing; and he was going to get a spanking if he didn't stop acting like that. All through tightly clenched teeth.

I did appologize later that night. Just like he had to apologize to his teachers the next day.

I still feel bad though.

Maybe, that is the key. A bad mommy wouldn't care, wouldn't appologize.

But would a good mommy use the mean voice?