Monday, October 12, 2009

I just love it when someone tells me I am a bad mother

Today I had to go argue with the dentist office; you know, the one that made my child terrified of the dentist. Two years later and I am still upset about it.

A year after what they did to Junior, they sent a bill for over $250 for work they had done on my husband before Junior's torture treatment. I called about it, holding back the rage I felt and was told that they hadn't sent the bill to the insurance company and that bill was automatically generated when they billed the insurance company.


Well someone else was doing the billing during that time. Don't worry, insurance will cover it.

So a month ago (a year after the previous bill and 2 years after treatment), we get another bill. I see red again and call only to find out that they want me to speak with the insurance company to beg them to pay.

Yes, the dental office that I get enraged about wants me to do a favor for them. So I mention it to Hubby so that he can tell the human resources person (or whoever it is that deals with insurance problems).

We got another bill.

So I went up there to calmly explain why I couldn't plead with the insurance company. And why we no longer go there.

They feel completely justified in the way my son was treated and actually blame me! If I had chosen to explain that it might hurt, it would better have prepared him. So I am a bad mother for not scaring the crap out of my child before taking him to the dentist.

I don't know how the missed cavity is my fault but I am sure it is. Some how.

Oh, and the billing problem is not their fault either. Now they are saying it is the insurance's fault. They did bill insurance immediately, insurance said to submit the claim again in a year (does this make any sense? because it doesn't to me). Then after the year they resubmitted the claim and insurance is denying it (DUH! Any idiot could have told them that would happen). So it is all the evil insurance companies fault.

I would love to live in a world where nothing is my fault - except I guess I can't since I am a mother.

Thing is, I took the high road. I just wanted to never think about that dentist and his office again. I haven't complained about them by name except for to a few friends. I didn't file a complaint with the ADA only because the dentist I grew up using is my cousin and I called him. He explained that some dentists do feel that the anesthetic is worse than the drilling.

I didn't complain to large groups of people, like the local homeschool email group I am on with well over 150 members. I haven't complained about him by name anywhere. I haven't filed a complaint with the BBB (although I am seriously thinking about that one).

I keep hoping it will work out somehow. My son has gotten better with his terror of dentists. I keep thinking that we can put that dentist office behind us and never deal with it again. At this point, that is all I really want from them.

Maybe not only am I a bad mother, but also a stupid one to think that I will get what I want from someone who has already made (overpriced) large amounts of money off my family.


  1. NO WAY! Rude! They absolutely need to write that one off and be happy that you didn't sue them!

  2. That is absolutely ridiculous. That is complete negligence on their part. They treated your son terribly!! And asking the patient to deal with the insurance company for them is totally unprofessional! I agree with Kim, they need to write it off and be glad you don't sue.

    As for not telling your child about possible pain, do what works for you. Every child is different. I always am up front with my kids about what they may or may not encounter. But I'm biased because I used have painful tests for kidneys issues. My mom wouldn't tell me about the appointments until the day of and would be vague about what I could expect. I always felt so betrayed by her and angry. It hurt our relationship because I felt like she threw me to the wolves. I'm over it now, but it was difficult for a child to understand.

    I have such issue with places that won't allow parents back with the kids. That is unacceptable. I had a dentist tell me that once and I told them I would be leaving, and they would not charge me for the appointment because my 3 year old never goes anywhere with strangers! That's infuriating! They're hoping to have an easier appointment because the child is scared into submission. I think it's great that you refused to go back! Your son will remember that you were his advocate and appreciate it always!

  3. WOW that's insane!!!!!!!!

    You go mom!