Thursday, September 3, 2009

I think I need another cookie

I gave blood yesterday so I think I should get another cookie.

What? You don't think it is a big deal?

Maybe for you. I have a phobia slight fear of needles. I know, you are thinking most people don't like needles. True, but most people don't get light headed at thinking about a shot.

It might have started when I got a series of shots that I distinctly remember being as big around as my arm. True, I was a skinny thing but still . . . . I remember the first two shots vividly. They wanted to put the first shot in my hip - which all kids know is where you sit. If it hurts to sit, it will be a long ride in the car home. So I threw a hissy fit and insisted that it go in my arm. They gave in, said it would be the last one I wanted in my arm, and gave me the huge shot. Oh, and they were wrong. I wanted the 2nd one in my arm too but they were bigger than I was.

Or it could have started when I was tested for allergies. That one was traumatic on so many levels beyond the actual "scratch test." I don't want to talk about it.

Or it could be the frequent shots I got as a result of the allergy testing.

Or it could be that I got a shot every time I went to the Dr office. Which was a lot.

No matter what it was that caused it, I had panic attacks when I would get an injection until I was in my 20's.

Then I was working in a hospital and thinking about nursing school, but my fear of needles was in the way. So thinking about that theory of facing your fears, I decided to donate blood. I nearly passed out part way through it, but I made it.

I still donate blood but I warn the phlebotomists that I don't like needles. I really don't want any extra information like how fast it is flowing, or how big the needle is or anything I don't have to be told. That side of my body does not exist while I am giving blood, I won't even look in that direction. I really try not to look at my arm for several days afterward because the hole makes me cringe. I seriously can feel the muscles in my shoulders tighten up as I think about it.

And with all that I still donate.

Because it saves lives.

1 comment:

  1. I can absolutely relate... and right now... my love/hate relationship with needles is being tested to the limits...

    I have panic attacks looking at the needles that are supposed to be used in my hip in the very near future... because they are HUGE! Makes me weak in the knees... and the sad thing is that it makes John weak too - and he's the one that has to watch!

    I know what you mean about excess information - and I can't watch when they draw blood until after the inital stick. But if they start digging around for a vein... I start to faint.

    I can't give blood sadly because of all of the viruses and things floating around in my body, but I respect those of you that can and do!