Now that Daisy is getting to be a certain age, we have been discussing modesty more. Fun.
To help with the whole thing, I got the "Secret Keeper Girl" geared to 8-12 year olds. It is a mom and daughter thing, with mom and daughter going out on dates and discussing "the truth about their "internal wardrobe," their external beauty-and to have a blast in the process!"
So we did the first date on Saturday, it was supposed to be a tea party but Daisy hates tea. And it is hot anyway so we went for dessert at Olive Garden. The discussion was great and I think it gave both of us something to ponder.
Something she told me about has been sort-of bothering me.
We have a family rule that stupid and shut-up are not allowed. It is too easy to use it on each other and that just does not build the family up. With younger kids, they don't see how some occasions are ok and others are not so it is just easier for it to be a general rule.
Well apparently some of the girls at camp were talking and one said that if you weren't allowed to say shut-up then you weren't cool. According to what Daisy said, this wasn't directed at Daisy but it still hurt her feelings.
Since she has a good head on her shoulders and is compassionate, and I don't think she would be using stupid and shut-up constantly, we lifted the rule. I explained why the rule was there in the first place, explained that it didn't solve conflict blah, blah, blah.
I also explained that people don't typically notice the words you don't say until they have been around you for a long time. For instance, I would bet that none of my friends know that I don't like the word "hiney". It just annoys me and so I don't use it, there are many other words that mean the same that don't make me cringe.
I suppose the real reason this bothers me is that it hurt my baby girl. But also because I don't like shut-up. It is rude, hurtful, and it tells someone that you don't value them. I may have thought it at my kids but I don't want to verbalize that message at them. Really the only value where I might use it is an emergency situation. Stupid is equally vile, although I do find myself using it on the other drivers around me (or some other word that means the same like idiot, moron etc).
So what do you think of those words?