I am doing better. The tears still flow fairly frequently but they aren’t quite as close to the surface. I am feeling so grateful for so many things.
- I am grateful for having such a good Daddy – although it does make it harder that he is gone.
- I am grateful for the fond memories my kids will have of him.
- I am grateful for the little miracles that kept him healthy – his first oncologist basically said to wait at home to die, the second gave him another 4 years of living.
- I am grateful for feeling closer to God rather than anger at Him.
- I am grateful for my family and friends who have prayed for us during this time.
- I am thankful that I could celebrate my Daddy going home even if I wish he could have waited longer.
The saying goes “the devil is in the details” but it is also so true that God is in the details. There are so many little details that God took care of as a reminder that He is there.
I don’t know why my dad had to get cancer. I don’t know why it had to be an aggressive cancer. But I do know that God is in control, that He will work it for good somehow. I know that right now He has my hand and he won’t let go.
And for my Dad, I love these verses:
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. 2 Timothy 4:7 & 8