Dumber than I used to be

I am dumber than I used to be.

I used to easily read the classics like Jane Austin. At the time, I didn't find the writing style difficult and I read classics for fun.

Fun! I tell you. I read Tale of Two Cities for fun; Pride and Prejudice for fun; the Count of Monte Cristo for fun.

And this was in high school, to be honest, not an age known for its intelligence or depth.

This year I struggled through the first half of Persuasion.

I needed silence to be able to focus enough to understand it.

I will admit that by the time I was halfway through though, it was easier, I got back into the language and the cadence. But that it was that difficult really galls me.

I finally finished it and now I am reading Sense and Sensibility.

Now I get it enough to see an insult. I wanted to share something with you:

However dissimilar in temper and outward behaviour, they strongly resembled each other in that total want of talent and taste which confined their employments, unconnected with such as society produced, within a very narrow compass. Sir John was a sportsman, Lady Middleton a mother. He hunted and shot, and she humoured her children; and these were their only resources. Lady Middleton had the advantage of being able to spoil her children all the year round, while Sir John's independent employments were in existence only half the time. Continual engagements at home and abroad, however, supplied all the deficiencies of nature and education; supported the good spirits of Sir John, and gave exercise to the good breeding of his wife.

I really don't want to be like Lady Middleton. I prize being a mother, and a homeschool mom. I also see that as what God has called me to do.

But I also want to continue to grow as a person and in my walk with God.

I am not talking about dropping them off at the sitters so I can go shopping but taking time to do things that enrich me. Such as doing my morning devotions. And working out. And reading books that stretch me.

Obviously I haven't been doing that but I want to.